STATEMENT BY THE CHAIRMAN, NBA ABUJA BRANCH (UNITY BAR)

*BIG SECRETS IN MARRIAGE!* 

             Secret 1 

Everyone you marry has a weakness. Only God does not have a weakness. So if you focus on your spouse's weakness you can't get the best out of his strength.

            Secret 2

Everyone has a dark history. No one is an angel. When you get married or you want to get married stop digging into someone's past. What matters most is the present life of your partner. Old things have passed away. Forgive and forget. Focus on the present and the future.

            Secret 3 

Every marriage has its own challenges. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every good marriage has gone through its own test of blazing fire. True love proves in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in times of need. Remember the vow For better for worse. In sickness and in health be there.

              Secret 4

Every marriage has different levels of success. Don't compare your marriage with any one else. We can never be equal. Some will be far, some behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time your marriage dreams shall come true.

             Secret 5

To get married is declaring war. When you get married you must declare war against enemies of marriage. Some enemies of marriage are:

Ignorance 

Prayerlessness

Unforgiveness 

Third party influence 

Stinginess

Stubbornness 

Lack of love 

Rudeness

Laziness 

Disrespect 

Cheating 

1. Ignorance: Ignorance refers to a lack of knowledge or awareness. In a relationship or marriage, ignorance can be damaging because it can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunication, and a lack of understanding of each other's needs and feelings.

2. Prayerlessness: 

Prayerlessness refers to the absence or neglect of prayer in a relationship or marriage. While not everyone may be religious or practice prayer, for those who do, prayer can provide guidance, support, and a sense of connection. The absence of prayer can lead to a lack of spiritual connection and support, which can impact the overall health of the relationship.

3. Unforgiveness:

 Unforgiveness refers to the refusal or inability to forgive someone for their past actions or mistakes. Holding onto grudges and resentment can create a toxic environment in a relationship or marriage, leading to resentment, bitterness, and a breakdown in trust and communication.

4. Third-party influence: 

Third-party influence refers to the influence of external individuals or factors on a relationship or marriage. This can include interference from friends, family members, or even extramarital affairs. Allowing third-party influence can lead to a loss of trust, emotional distance, and potential damage to the relationship or marriage.

5. Stinginess: 

Stinginess refers to a reluctance or unwillingness to share or give generously, whether it be with time, resources, or emotional support. Stinginess can create a sense of selfishness and lack of generosity in a relationship or marriage, leading to feelings of neglect, resentment, and overall dissatisfaction.

6. Stubbornness: 

Stubbornness refers to a refusal to change one's opinion or behavior, even when it may be detrimental to the relationship or marriage. Being stubborn can hinder effective communication, compromise, and problem-solving, leading to unresolved conflicts and ongoing tension.

7. Lack of love: 

Lack of love refers to a deficiency or absence of affection, care, and emotional connection in a relationship or marriage. Without love, a relationship can become cold, distant, and unfulfilling, leading to dissatisfaction and potential breakdown.

8. Rudeness:

 Rudeness refers to disrespectful or impolite behavior towards one another. Constant rudeness can erode the foundation of respect and mutual understanding in a relationship or marriage, creating a hostile environment and damaging the emotional well-being of both partners.

9. Laziness: 

Laziness refers to a lack of effort, motivation, or engagement in the relationship or marriage. When one or both partners are lazy, it can lead to neglect, lack of contribution, and a sense of imbalance in the partnership, potentially causing resentment and dissatisfaction.

10. Disrespect: Disrespect refers to the absence of consideration, courtesy, or regard for one another's feelings, boundaries, or opinions. Disrespect can undermine trust, create conflict, and damage the emotional connection in a relationship or marriage.

11. Cheating: 

Cheating refers to engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship outside of the committed partnership. Infidelity can cause immense pain, betrayal, and a loss of trust in a relationship or marriage. It is one of the most damaging actions that can occur, often leading to the breakdown and potential end of the relationship.

To maintain a healthy relationship or marriage, it is important to address and work on these issues. Open communication, mutual respect, forgiveness, and a willingness to put in effort are key factors in overcoming and preventing damage in a relationship.

Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.

             *Secret 6* 

There is no perfect marriage. There is no ready made marriage. Marriage is hard work. Volunteer yourself to work daily on it. Marriage is like a car that needs proper maintenance and proper service. If this is not done it will break down somewhere exposing the owner to danger or some unhealthy circumstances. Let us not be careless about our marriages. 

              *Secret 7* 

God cannot give you a complete person you desire. He gives you the person in the form of raw materials in order for you to mould the person that you desire. This can only be achieved through prayer, love and Patience

             *Secret 8* 

Getting married is taking a huge risk. You can not predict what will happen in the future.  Situations may change so leave room for adjustments. Husband can lose his good job or you may fail to have babies. All these require you to be prayerful otherwise you might divorce.

            *Secret 9* 

Marriage is not a contract. It is  permanent. It needs total commitment. Love is the glue that sticks the couple together. Divorce start in the mind and the devil feeds the mind. Never ever entertain thoughts of getting a divorce. Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married. God hates divorce.

            *Secret 10* 

Every marriage has a price to pay. Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money that you deposit that you withdraw. If you don't deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate for a blissful home.

So tonight let us pray for our marriages. Send to those you care about because  you never know who you may be helping. 

May God bless you all.